The time I took apart the stylus to put it in a muji pen so it is not that bulky stylus but a skinnier pen that doesn't give me pain. I'm still using it right now.

Just copying Leyendecker for practice and I think I'm not good at copying...

And I am now using ArtRage because I randomly remembered that I have a free copy of it that came with my tablet. I think the interface on its own is better than Painter already. Sometimes I can't believe that Painter has not updated their interface and it remained archaic since 20 years ago. And it kept bothering me about buying an upgrade. LOL I shouldn't have bought it. Buyer's remorse!!!!

I need to practice painting noses.

I bought corel painter 2021 from humble bundle, so I was messing with it the last few days. I don't really know what is it with me and digital painting. Part of it may just be that analogue is always easier, all brushes will more or less function the same way. But not digital brushes. and I don't have patience.

This actually brings me to the more core problems of my relationship with art. I think I want to do everything, but of course I can't do everything. That also leads to a sort of confused identity, because there isn't one thing that I'm focused on. When the whole world of online art and social media tells artists that "you have to find your niche," create your "branding," going all over the place is definitely not what makes people recognize your work.

I have tried to delete and make new social media accounts, maybe part of it feel that none of what I have in the past represents who I am currently, which also changes at random for me as I cannot focus on one thing.

There is so far no conclusion.

I have been working on this comic. I had one whole month to do it, and couldn't really get it down until the last two weeks, and then spending the last 4 days on inking 25 pages and doing some tones which I still haven't finished. I don't know if it's because it's an online event so I'm slightly less motivated, unlike in-person conventions where I'd probably freak out about printing etc pretty early on. The event is currently happening (2:40pm in JP time). I still got a majority of it done, in both English and Japanese. I think everything was a bit too ambitious for my timeline, I'm amazed at my ability to get this far. I spent last weekend worrying about my body and health and the state of not getting any doctor appointments and my doctor retiring, so there was that.

I need to find time to finish this after the event, but I have other comics to draw for other people and possibly a zine fair, so I'm afraid it'll get put aside. T_T Though I do want to print my own copy for the sake of self-satisfaction.

I will try and work out my motivation and procrastination better so I'm not doing it so so last minute painful rush. My current sleep pattern is messed up, I don't know how to adjust.

I got an oblique pen holder for calligraphy. I'm not feeling significant difference yet, other than I don't have to rotate my paper at an angle. 

I had multiple boxes of pens. Think chocolate tin as boxes. It had been annoying since whenever I have to look for a specific pen or tool, I had to open up 4 or 5 boxes just to find it. I didn't have a good organization method, or more importantly, SPACE, to spread out all the tools in any meaningful way.

I finally deal with this problem by getting one of those plastic drawer things. They are actually modular and can be put together in any combination. I managed to sort most stuff into these drawers. I technically still have more, such as brushes that are too long for this, tubes of paint, or other miscellaneous tools that are just designated in the stacking plastic tubs forever. 

I think I still have a long way to go in terms of organizing. Either that, or I just throw some more of it away.